The starting line

My husband and I have never been much more than mid-income but I know how to budget and save so we were always comfortable. Never had much savings but always more than most of the people we knew. At least enough to bounce back from whatever financial oops we had. After my spouse retired from the military we had a nice savings and a decent military retirement that we planned to use to build the dream/retirement place. We bought 5.8 acres and had the house built. Although one of my brothers called it a mansion, it wasn't huge (2212st) but custom with lots of glass, wood and tile. We no longer had savings but the military retirement paid for almost all of the mortgage payment. We both had decent jobs and extra money.

Somehow we never really managed to save after the house was built. Always something needed on the place mostly as we didn't travel or do much that cost money. I got into raising goats and had to keep buying more and more expensive stock. Fences, barns, equipment, meds and the money kept going out. My spouse was having problems with his drinking, something never under control at the best of times. Periods of layoffs and lots of drinking. What savings we had kept get lower. A job change lowered by a third my spouse’s income. Then, a job loss, he was fired. No unemployment and a plunge into a deep ravine of drinking. Suddenly we are living with the same bills on less than half the income.

This was in March 2007. It was pretty obvious that he won't be going back to work any time soon. The house was put on the market and all of the livestock was sold off. The livestock went quick and was sold mostly to goat friends. Thank heavens as we had a pre-inspection done and found we had major water/moisture damage down in the crawl space. We had put up some of that black vinyl stuff to help eliminate moisture but put it over insulation which just trapped the moisture. We also found that the outside walls had moisture damage (the house is a Tudor with lots of trim. I was told the contractor that built the house used the wrong type of wood for the trim and didn't angle it properly, causing water to not run off properly). We had it all repaired but it took every penny we had.

A wiser person would have tossed out the drinking husband I'm sure, but evidentially I'm not wise. He sank deeper into drinking using money from the sale of the old cars he had sitting around as projects. That money lasted about 4 months. Come August I'm facing a serious shortage of funds. My son thought that he and his family could move in and help pay expenses. They did but moved back out after 2 weeks. Many reasons for that. The kids were scared by my spouse's falling due to drinking and not eating (imagine that), they felt isolated out in the country and didn't like living in the garage. I got no rent money at all although hopefully I'll get a little next week and they ate up most of what food I had left in the freezer.

That last statement sounds worse than it is. I am a firm believer in food storage and have put food by for years. I believe in being prepared for whatever so my preparedness goes beyond just food to everything one uses to live. I have enough of the basic food items to feed us for a couple of years: beans, rice, wheat, oils/fats, dry milk, oatmeal, salt & seasonings, corn etc. I also have lots of canned foods: fruits, veggies, soups, meats, chili etc. Water is stored. I prepare for whatever by having anything I use on a daily basis stored. It takes up a lot of room but is very comforting. For the last 4 months I have been eating mostly out of the storage items buying mostly fresh fruits and veggies. Saves a lot of money. The freezer mostly held meats (goats is in there too), fish and chicken, some fruits and veggies, breads the usual freezer stuff. When the kids moved out I was shocked at how empty the freezer was and ended up crying, wondering how we would eat.

Having all the food storage is not enough. The LDS always say to 'store what you eat and eat what you store'. This is truly something that one must work on I think. I've been bad at not using the food storage as I should. I have plenty of food to eat! Once I got over the 'what will I do' wail and thought about it, I'm fine food wise. Just fine. But it really was a changing of the way I thought.

This shows how I've been thinking because I've been working for several years toward being more self-sufficient. I have the food and water storage. I had livestock (and chickens). I had lots of fruit trees and bushes, a garden area. But I panicked when I couldn't go to the grocery store. Because the house is up for sale I had to declutter it. All of the storage items got packed and are in a storage shed. The cupboards truly are bare these days but I recently went to the storage shed and brought back stuff I needed. I hate to bring it all back just yet.

We are on a 6-month contract with a real estate agent to sell the house. We've had a lot of viewers as it is a nice house. BUT, our land is all on a hill. Steepish driveway and very little flat land to be had. No one seems to like that. I don't think it is going to sell. We all know what the housing market is like right now. I have enough money to pay bills for September (sold a couple of things). The contract is up in mid-October. If the house hasn't sold by mid-October I will refinance. Shouldn't have a problem with that. I hate to do it as I have a low finance rate on a 15 year mortgage. Refinancing will not quite double the rate but it will lower the payment so I can meet all financial obligations. Come spring I will relist and try again. Once the contract is done I'll bring back all the storaged items and have everything at hand again. I do look forward to that.

Anyway that is all the background. Learning to think of the food storage as real food is a good thing. Learning not to run and buy something is a good thing. Next entry I'll talk more about things I'm changing my lightbulb on.